If You Love Someone, (Don't) Let Them Go.

Friday, July 13, 2012 · Posted in ,

I don't know if this is too sad I can't even shed a tear, or if it's not my time for crying yet.

Had a long talk with my boyfriend. About how tough our situation is. About how his family disapprove our interfaith relationships. About how he felt so desperate and wanted to give up.

I don't even know how to name the feelings. Sadness, anger, and thinking about an idea that he simply just didn't want to fight for me. But I know it's not that. The situation is way moreeeee complicated than that.

It hurts. It really hurts.
Pertama kejebak di situasi yang salah. Dua kali.
Pertama, ngejalanin hubungannya pas berdua punya pasangan. Ini mungkin masih ga terlalu menyakitkan.
But this time, it really hurts.
I don't know who to blame. I don't know where should I cuss.

It breaks my heart to hear how he really holds his feelings just because he doesn't want to hurt me if one day we fail this and we have to be separated. It breaks my heart to hear how he knows how hard the situation is but he want to fight because it is ME. It breaks my heart to realize the one that hurt us is his parents. Where they actually have to support us, but they hurt us instead just because an ego in the name of faith and religion.

For heaven's sake. Nothing is wrong with us. Nothing is wrong with him.
The only thing that wrong is this situation.

I really don't know which hurts more. Loving the wrong guy. Or loving the right guy in a wrong situation.

Why ? Why do they have to do that ? Why do they have to hurt us ? Why do they have to insist him to choose ? Why do they have to make it so complicated ?  Why isn't anybody on our side ? Just so we can have a little strength to keep walking.

He told me that he'd keep going. He told me that he'd keep fighting. But I can see he still got a lil' doubt in his eyes. I know he's in tough situation. He doesn't want to hurt his parents, and doesn't want to lose his happiness.

Now tell me, what can hurts more than that ?

6 Responses to “If You Love Someone, (Don't) Let Them Go.”

  1. Poeeeeeee!!!!!
    Aaaakk, berlinang air mata baca ini. Ini juga kejadian di gw, tapi gw di posisi pacar lo.

    Sabar ya, Poe :-(

  2. Ah, kejadian yang sama ? Nyebelin ya, Dee. :(
    Kamu juga yang sabar yakk. :')

  3. bener-bener berat situasi kamu, aku juga pernah disituasi ini... yg sabar ya... semoga yg diperjuangkan menemukan titik terang... :)

  4. hallo :)
    lagi blogwalking trus nyasar kesini. Baca postingan yg ini jadi inget cerita masa lalu. sama persis. kami dulu bertahan 9,5 tahun lalu menyerah. tidak pun berteman karena mungkin terlalu menyakitkan heuheuheu. semoga diberikan jalan terbaik ya..

  5. Hallo juga.
    Makasih udah nyempetin baca. Hehe..
    Wahh, 9,5 tahun must be really tough ya. Kisahku belum ada apa2nya kayanya. Hehe..
    We will. Thank you so much anyway.. :)


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